My Little Secret
by PockyPhoto
Summary: When you can't confess in person, do it when she's sleeping.  Kakashi/Sakura oneshot.


A/N: This is written for Week 2 of the Poe Challenge at the KakaSaku LJ Community. Theme is Dream Within a Dream. Enjoy~ [I do not own Naruto or any of the characters.]

* * *

_**My Little Secret**_

* * *

I hear something. A splash of water? There it is, again. Once more.

My eyes flutter open behind tired lids, the sun being no friend of mine. I try to block its rays with my hand, but it seems so darn persistent. There's just too much light. I groan in complaint, trying to hide my face in my pillow. Only, this isn't my pillow. These aren't my sheets, and this is not my bed. My bed should be a single mattress, full of holes and creaky springs.

I drag myself to sit up, draped in sheets of silk, with no one around. Alone and disoriented, I try to grab hold of my surroundings. The bed is so comfortable, I find myself sinking into its soft luxury. I see several tiny feathers peek from within the large pillows. The rice-paper walls of the room are bland, but the open door reveals the picturesque scene of a small beach at the lake. The sun is bright, and the view is beautiful, but I'm all alone. Whose house is this? Where is my team? And why do I feel so heavy? I want to get up, but my legs are weighing me down. They feel like lead.

I must be dreaming. I'm quite positive I'm not a sleepwalker, nor am I aware of any beach near Konoha where I would sleep in the bed of a stranger. I try to release the genjutsu, but nothing happens. Is this really a dream? I must be exhausted to be dreaming about sleeping.

A light breeze sweeps over the lake while the smell of the beach entices me. I smile. It feels good. It feels natural. I slip from the layers of silk and manage to haul my tired body to the side of the extravagant bed. My bare feet touch the cold boards of the hardwood floors with a slight shiver to my spine. For a moment, my body tingles and I can't explain it. I encourage myself to stand up, but it takes me a few tries to finally resist going back in between those smooth fabrics of silk.

All I wear is my white gown, but I don't bother looking for other clothes. I oddly don't feel the need to cover myself. Rather, I feel like going in the water. I'm aware that I'm being pulled, but I let myself be lured.

My first step is difficult. I'm afraid I'll fall over and not get back up. The next step is easier. And the step after that. My legs begin to feel lighter and I can manage to walk without dragging my feet.

I step down from the porch to dip my toes in the sand. It feels so funny that I laugh at the simple joy. It isn't just the sand. It's the fresh air and the gentle wind. It's so refreshing here. I don't know where I'm at, but I'm satisfied with staying.

I pick up a handful of sand, letting it quickly gather again at my feet. I do it again, but I realize I can't keep it within my palm. It looks like typical sand, falling between my fingers. I hardly notice it moves itself. I try to trap it in my clasped hands, but it continues to seep out. It seems depressing to me, that I can't hold on to sand. It's fleeting.

I walk to the lake with the moist grains creeping in between my toes. The sound of the crashing waves is too tempting to oppose. I wade in up to my waist, not minding my wet gown. My reflection in the water appears more beautiful than I've ever seen in a mirror. My long hair looks so radiant as it cascades over my shoulder. My eyes shine like never before. They don't have that tired and dull impression of a long day at work. My lips aren't chapped, and my skin practically glows. This _is_ a dream. This is complete proof I'm in a dream. So shouldn't I wake up and return to my cluttered room and hard mattress?

There's that sound again. I glance over and find Kakashi skipping stones across the lake. He seems so at ease. I stress too much. If Kakashi's here, playing with rocks, then I have nothing to worry about. I'm safe. I'm always safe with him.

He sees me. He's calling me to him, beckoning me with a crooked finger. I'm glad this is a dream. I at least won't have bedhead. I walk to him, as slow as the water takes me. I've never seen him wear that black top before. He looks so casual, much more like a friend than a mentor. It's like we're on vacation, just the two of us. I quite like the idea of quality time with Kakashi. Is it okay for me to have these thoughts?

I approach him, the waves creeping at our toes before crawling back into the lake. I smile, and I know he's smiling beneath that black mask. He holds a fist out, intending to give me something. I offer my palm in curiosity. He drops a dark pebble in my hand, and starts skipping stones across the crest of the lake water again.

I look at the pebble. It's shaped like a heart. I wonder if there's a meaning to it. This is a dream, right? So everything has a meaning. Or maybe it really is a coincidence, and my mind is just fishing for ideas that don't exist. I try my hand at throwing the stone across the water. I manage two skips before it sinks. Kakashi's stones sink long after they've gone out of sight. What a show-off.

He hands me another pebble. It's white, and smooth. But it's shaped like a heart too! I glance at him, but his eyes are focused far out into the lake. I grab his hand full of stones, and pry apart his fingers to reveal such a treasure.

There _is_ a meaning. Each and every stone is a heart.

My eyes catch his and before I can speak, he allows himself to run his other hand through my roseate hair, cupping my cheek. His hand is so warm and comforting that I can't resist leaning in to his touch with a smile. I'm not sure if this is okay between us, but I don't find the nerves to worry about such things in any case. It's just a dream. No one else will know. My little secret.

I watch Kakashi raise his other hand to hook a finger beneath his mask. I think I'm holding my breath. Am I that excited? Will I-?

I do!

I see his naked face for the first time, and I'm shocked in awe at the sight. He has a horrible tan line, but his features are quite handsome. Would I possibly say dashing? But now he's smirking, and I can't say anything. No words are coming out. Though I'm not sure what I'm wanting to say, anyway. I know what he's doing. I'm letting it happen. I shouldn't, but... I can't turn away. Maybe I want this, too.

We're kissing.

We're kissing, and it's amazing. He's gentle, making sure I don't push away. His lips are warm and soft, tugging on mine. I let him kiss me, and he lets me kiss him. It feels passionate. It feels natural, like we've done this several times before. I want to keep kissing him. I want to just kiss him until this dream ends.

But he starts to calm down, leaving chaste kisses on my lips, my nose, my cheeks. I don't want him to pull away, but he does. He grants me one last kiss and whispers against my lips, "You have every piece of my heart."

* * *

Tonight would be confession #26.

Kakashi sneaked in through her window with relative ease. The moonlight graced her sleeping form in the same beauty he's seen every night for the past month. She was enwrapped in a single sheet that was too large for her aged mattress, with her wild hair strewn about her face. Kakashi traced a finger against the soft skin of her cheek and kissed her temple. She smelled like the cocoa butter lotion that she lathered on before bed. Her breathing was quiet and relaxed, much more composed than the first night he crawled into her bedroom. He couldn't resist another. His gloved hand grasped her chin in his hand, planting the softest of kisses on her lips. He engraved her sleeping form once more into memory before gently revealing an emerald eye behind those sleeping lids.

Every night was different. A different scene. A different season. A different way to confess. It was almost heart-breaking to say "I love you" to a woman who couldn't say it back, night after night. This was sad and depressing. This was torture. This was better than facing the reality of it all.

He could never confess in person. Even if by the smallest miracle, she had the same feelings in return, it would not be possible. A love between them is forbidden. There were consequences for taboo love affairs, and the majority came more from talk than the law. Friends and strangers blend together, to the point that you can hardly trust the words coming from their mouths. With no faith in friends, it makes it all the more difficult to have faith in a relationship when talk is constantly behind your back.

Kakashi could face the consequences. He could face what penalty the law threw at him. He could face the backstabbers among the crowds. He could not face Sakura enduring the same burden. Call him a coward if they wanted to. Maybe this is his way of running from his fears. Or maybe this was the only method he could handle confronting his feelings. No matter how he felt, these little bits of courage to come every night would be all he could safely provide her.

Dreams are brief. They are experienced for merely an instant, a single moment during the span of an entire lifetime. Those were his confessions. They were an untouchable dream that not even reality could grasp. She could not hold on to them, the same way he could not hold on to her.

Confession #26 would be as sweet as all the others. He never mixed work or duty with his admissions of love. They were meant to stand out as extensions of his passionate feelings for her, feelings that could never be shared with her outside of a fantastical world. He treated her with dreams that she would have loved to experience, like any other woman in search of romance. A moment at the beach. A night of fireworks. A view of the sunset. A gentle conversation in the gardens. They were the dreams of worlds better than he could offer, though they were as honest as the constant attraction he had for her. Tonight was yet another.

Kakashi's sharingan twirled. Confession #26 started with a snowy evening. Sakura was bundled up in her winter coat, trudging through the streets while barely managing to balance the paper bags of groceries within her arms. It was windy and she was having a difficult time seeing the path in front of her. Luckily, she would happen to bump into Kakashi, who didn't really have a reason for taking a stroll after a snow storm.

The fantasy would continue with Kakashi helping her pick up the fallen groceries, their fingers briefly touching on more than one occasion. Simple conversation would lead to hot cocoa at her place. To pass the time, he starts to teach her origami figures out of her stack of medical reports on the dinner table. It's a comfortable evening between the two. No tension, no talk about work or friends, no distractions.

It gets late. He has to leave. It's the worst part of the confessions, having to end it. But he gives her a kiss good-bye before disappearing from her abode. She remains surprised, fingers touching her warm lips. She goes to clear the table, and she sees. Each petal of every flower, each side of every boat, and each wing of every crane is scribbled in Kakashi's horrible handwriting, "I love you."

* * *

The jounin lounge was a horrible place for lunch. The chairs wobbled, one of the windows were broken, and she swore she saw a rat.

The blonde stuffed her face with a rather large piece of sugary cake, crumbs falling off the side of her mouth as she paid more attention to the back page of the Konoha newspapers. Sakura watched her best friend fill her appetite with little to no sophistication, completely satisfied that Ino's nickname referenced to a pig.

"God, my horoscope for today isn't helpful at all!" Ino pouted with her mouth full of sweets. "It tells me, 'Your energy is better spent on just making the best of an odd situation.' What the hell will the odd situation be?"

Sakura rested her chin in the palm of her hand, her fork picking at the icing on her chocolate dessert. "Maybe it's talking about when you asked Shikamaru if he wanted to use that whip-"

"Aah! I don't know what you're talking about!" Ino proclaimed loudly, stuffing Sakura's mouth with a rather large piece of cake. "Could you say that louder? Kakashi's only sitting _right_ there."

Sakura's emerald eyes followed Ino's jutting thumb to notice the jounin's lazy form lying on the couch, Icha Icha book in hand. With a swallow of forced-fed food, her skeptical expression did not ease her blonde friend.

"Kakashi's the last person you need to worry about discussing sex with in public. Do you not see the book he's reading?"

"Yeah, yeah," Ino waved the topic off, hoping it simply disappears in thin air. She looked back at the newspaper, finger tracing over the ink. "You're Aries, right? Yours tells you-"

"I don't really care, Ino."

"Yes, you do. Now shut up and humor me."

Sakura continued to pick at her cake.

"Aries should pay close attention to their dreams. They provide a gentle push in a positive direction," Ino smiled, for some particular reason. "You know, there's some big psychologist, or whatever, who says dreams are just a release of your sexual urges and frustrations."

Sakura quickly glanced at Kakashi. His eyes were still on his book.

"You know Kakashi's still in the room, right?"

Ino ignored her comment. "Supposedly, the dreams you _do_ remember when you wake up are the truths you're too scared to admit."

"Or maybe your famous psychologist was just some horny bastard who made this stuff up to get his name published," Sakura shifted in her wobbling chair.

"Stop that. You're gonna break it."

"It's already broken."

"You don't believe in a little bit of it? None, at all?" Ino pestered. "The last dream I remembered scared me for days. I caught Shikamaru bathing in blood," she shivered at the thought.

"So according to your psychologist, you probably just want to have sex in blood."

"That's disturbing. I think it's just a way of thinking that Shikamaru's having a hard time, and I should comfort him," she smiled.

"With a whip."

"Are you gonna eat that cake or not?"

Sakura slid her plate to Ino, who was more than happy to indulge.

"Sakura, you don't remember any dreams lately? Nothing?" she paused in-between bites. "Your horoscope says you have good things coming!"

The medic pondered for a minute. Her eyes briefly met Kakashi's. They said nothing to each other, and his attention went back to his book.

"No, I don't remember any dreams."

Kakashi continued reading.


End file.
